Our Current Mental Health State

Our current mental health state in America is very poor. This a true statement as well as a metaphor for society and people in general.

To begin to explain mental health history I need to provide a brief history lesson.

In WWII our brave service men returned shell shocked and suffer from severe combat fatigue. The stigma of Marijuana was used as a racist tool of the wealthy and corrupt elite class to control and demonize Black Americans. The American service men and women returned with no access to mental health treatment and thus self medicated with alcohol. The controling and negative effcts of alcohol caused many otherwise great American heros men to become violent and abusive. These folks are part of the generation coined "The Greatest Generation." Please note; I consider these  brave men and women just that. As America progressed access to more modern and humane treatment also advanced. The atmosphere and culture of American society theb began to change.

Next we move to the "Baby Boomers." Think about those born in the late 1940's who then grew up during the 60's and 70's. These men and women changed society for the better in countless ways. Looking back as an gen x / gen y man I feel these were the folks that laid the foundation of modern society. They opened thier mind with psychotropic drugs and canibis. They loved, fought, and cared for each other, and the common goal of bettering society. Those who were not drafted often obtained higher education and protested against violence in Vietnam as well as racial acceptance. The brave heros who served in The Vietnam War came back with what we now know as PTSD. President Richard Nixon a polarizing but ultimately good leader pulled us out of the disaster that was the Vietnam War. Nixon wasalso  corrupt and made some mistakes. One significant error was that he closed public Mental Hospitals. Severely ill patients were left penniless on the streets. The majority of the folks discharged are now dead, in prison, or homeless. With good odds some recovered enough to live a "normal life." 

Today we have Iraq and Afghanistan vets suffering from PTSD amoung other physical and mental issues. America is now a mostly trigger happy mental Health system where teens and children are over diagnosed and over-medicated. Adults too are "pilling" with an RX drug crisis in full swing. Americans are now using or dependentent on severe psycotropic meds. Many of the meds carry a blackbox warning that can have potential side effects of suicidal thoughts or actions. This is evident with many of the violent shootings that have been commonplace in our society.

In my opinion there are some ways to get this under control:

1. Children need to be monitored and have the chance to recieve counseling as they grow up through our public and private schools.

2. We need to put the RX pad away and develop our children to cope with life issues. We also need to eat better and ensure excercise, all while discouraging bullying. 

These are Simple things that could easily be done could have big impacts. 

Please take the time to think about and discuss these ideas and the accurate history I've recounted here. 

As Americans we will always win the fight! Let's END STIGMA and make America healthy again!

-Anonymous 

Horror-Theme Thrill Ride!

Living with Manic Depression or Bi Polar Disorder (BPD) is like a Horror-Theme Thrill Ride! 

It's sad, fun, and fucking scary!

Yes that's what it is. I fear what 's next. I try to live in the moment and try hard to enjoy the ride and am often ashamed of my attemps and outcomes.

That's what BPD feels like to me.

I feal like a prisoner of my mind and body.

----- Mind punishs Body------

-----Body punishes mind-----

     ----- A Vicious Cycle!------

Always searching for the harmony of Yin & Yang but rarley they matchup properly. 

Anyway, am I preaching to the choir and/or do you not care? It doesn't matter this my journal.  I'm just letting everybody read it, and nobody know who I am.

After all, I'm fucking anonymous

BPD

-Anonymous

So many expectations

It's fucked up  how one person views my behavior as crazy another as fun. What the fuck? Who's right? I don't know what you expect of me; what do you want from me? Ugh!!!???!!!

Nothing can express the way I feel! 

Here's an attempt:

My whole world is crashing down on me! Everything around me! How do I react? How should I behave? 

What do I need to do to prove I'm not 'crazy' 

Stress kills! Literally I'm under so much that I feel like I'm carrying the world on my shoulders! Too hyperbolic maybe, but that's how I feel; the world is on my shoulders! 

It's my world that's on my shoulders at least. How do I react I don't know; you tell me. What do you expect from me, what do you want? 

Someone tell me: what do you want me to be and I'll be that!

Until then I don't know. 

I know one thing: 

I am Manic Depressive, Bi Polar, insane, crazy.....nuts, looney, lost it.....etc.....

-anonymous

My Story

Everyone has story mine is pretty simple 

I had a great childhood & loving  parents that still support me and help me. I have a loving wife who worries, perhaps a little too much, but given what I've put her through it's warranted, and appreciated!

Even as a child I knew I was different. My mind raced even as a child with restless and sleepless nights. I stayed active in high school through sports and performed well academically.  I never really had problems then.

Issues manifested themselves in college. I gradually delved deeper into drugs and alcohol. I also did not have the support I had when I was home; that was missed and probably needed. Things got worse, my sophmore year of colled I was kicked out of school, and ended up serving a 90 day jail sentence . I was a victim of circumstance really, an innocent bystander, there at the wrong place and time. Too bad that they made an example of my roommate and I. 

Now I will forever carry a second stigma; that of being a felon.

Since then have I have gone through ups and downs mostly depression following mania. Manic episode are almost always brought on by high levels of stress. Prior to diagnosis I self medicated with alcohol and drugs. I know now that these things made everything worse and I'm thankful that I took the initiative to see a psychiatrist.

My point is that if you are reading this and.you suffer, and if you feel something something that doesn't feel "normal" talk to someone, or go see a psychiatrist. If you are a student without health insurance go to the student health services center. It's for your own good and the good of everyone around you.

The recognition of this has helped me immensely! I now know the signs to manage myself and cope effectively. We are all in this together feel free to reach out for personal advice although I'm not a doctor I cannot give medical advice. I do want to connect though and I do want to help if I can

I am Bi Polar

- Anonymous

Crossroads

I find myself at a crossroads. I work in a toxic environment, the stress is killing me. More so now than think I can handle from any other job or even this one before!

Some days I just want to go to the woods and and live there in peace. I know however that the solitude would kill me because I need to be with people. I often think of that old movie office space and how it relates to my work. It's a struggle every day too. I always think should I go do this today or should I just drive away? When I get there I ask myself sometimes during the day "should I just leave and not come back?

Who's to say that perhaps digging ditches, cutting trees, landscaping construction, any of these things are not better than what I do.

 

The ridiculous bullshit of the corporate world is killing me and I don't think I can take it anymore. However, I have to pay bills, a mortgage, car payments, food, gas, etc...

I know there's a better opportunity around the corner and I'll jump at the chance to take it. I've been told it's going to get better.  However I've been told that for years and years. 

Now is the time to make a move to make the move that is right! The money doesn't matter happiness does! 

Until that's  settled I'll keep grinding it out on my leather ass, on my stupid shit in front of my fucking computer, answering 100 emails and 50 phone calls every fucking day!

It will get better, one way or the other!

I am Bi Polar

- Anonymous 

connect with me @lithiumOD on Twitter!

I’m so stressed right now I want to be sedated! My all time favorite Ramones track! 

By the way punk rock change my life!That’s what Bradley Nowel Said! He was the lead singer of the band Sublime my favorite!

In all seriousness, I just want to talk to other people. 

Other people with bi polar disorder!

Other people with brain disease like ADD like schizophrenia and OCD and anxiety and depression and psychosis.

All of them!

Why is that so hard to ask?

So what I’m asking is talk to me.

I want to discuss these diseases and symptoms. 

Learn coping mechanisms others have tried that have worked. 

Please connect with on Twitter @lithiumOD blog already back let’s do this together! Let’s manage our problems and win the war! 

-anonymous

So Many Thoughts!

So last time I wrote I admitted that I am Bi-Polar anonymously to the internet! That pretty much means nothing!

What I can say though, is that I am making progress in my life. I just came off the most intense episode of Manic-Depression…

HERE IS WHAT I LEARNED:

Everyone suffers from mental illness whether mild or severe. We are all dealing with mental anguish. You don’t have a mental illness? You are “normal?” If you think that, you are ignorant! Have you ever lost sleep from worry? Have you ever been stressed out, sad, aloof, or angry? Those are all symptoms of mental illness. If you don’t have a diagnosis I encourage you to go a shrink and they will find one for you so they can prescribe you medication to make you better. This is called a LABEL

The point is, we all suffer mental and emotional anguish. Some of us suffer from it for unexplained reasons. The day to day moods and emotions that people feel from happiness, sadness, or anger are the symptoms that people with mental illness experience for no reason other than the chemicals in their brain’s do not release the way a “mentally healthy” persons brain releases them. If a person had liver cancer you blame liver cancer for them missing work. If you have a migraine you blame the migraine for not being in the mood. Why is the brain so different? Is it because the brain controls our behavior, our emotions, and how we communicate to others? Why is an illness that creates strange behavior something that we should treat differently than a physical illness. If I miss work because of a manic episode why am I different than the guy that missed work for having the flu? Think about it. Don’t blame the person, blame the illness! If I was is in a shit mood because I broke my leg, what would you say about me? Would you say that I am moody or I am mad and depressed because I am in pain? Probably not. Mental pain is just as severe and just as encompassing. Think about it. In a physical case any organ could be sick. It doesnt matter. In a mental case the brain is sick. Why is that different. Why is there a stigma? The brain is your most vital organ!

I have Bi-Polar disorder. My illness has a set of very unique and very interesting symptoms. I know it is there daily and some days I manage better than others. 

My point is don’t treat someone who is mentally ill different than someone you would treat that has cancer or AIDs. Mental illness is life long, just like cancer. I will have this disease till I die. How I die may be direclty related to my illness. I could die of a car accident because of slow reaction time caused by depression. I could harm myself in a manic rage of overpowering emotion. Or I could manage this thing and live a full and happy life. 

I will strive for the latter always but can make no guarantees of anything.

I am Bi-Polar

-Anonymous